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DulcitaCarlita
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Name: Charly
Country: United States
State: Rhode Island
Metro: Providence
Birthday: 3/1/1986
Gender: Female
Interests: theater, writing, thinking too much, being a scaredy cat, reading, playing guitar, singing, just living.
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
3/14/2004
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| i am moving to livejournal.
it is at www.livejournal.com/users/dulcitacarlita....or something like that.
its time for a change. | | |
| I was at work with my mother until 4am last night...not fun at all. | | |
| i wish i knew what i was doing.
sometimes i feel so sure of everything
and then i get where i am today...
wondering if i have royally fucked up everything.
i want to blame my father for this. i received another email from him.
the email was fine...but it got me wondering again.
and the thing is that i am constantly wondering this. constantly worried that i won't make him or my mother or the rest of my family proud. "don't fulfill ohter people's expectations of you," andrew said not too long ago. but i realize more and more that the only driving force behind doing well in elementary and middle and high school was the smiles on my parents faces. or the satisfaction they got by telling their friends what i had accomplished. i know i need to find a driving force within myself that is seperate from them...but the driving force is lost and doesn't know what to push for anymore. and in one moment it pushes for one thing and it gets distracted by something else in the next moment.
i know i am supposed to be lost right now.
i just wish it wasn't so scary. | | |
| Happy New Year's Eve.
So I sent my father my grades...and told him about dropping the 4th class...and this was the email I got...
"You did well! I am a little bothered by your dropping the 4th class. Not because you dropped it but the reasons for dropping it. If it was due to all of the time you're spending on the Theatre, then I am somewhat concerned. I have confidence in your decisionmaking abilities, but give more thought to the time you must invest in your courses, allocate that time to your courses and devote the rest to the Theatre or Starbucks(smile). I think you may be doing things in reverse."
and the first paragraph of my response...
"Father, dear,
You are probably right about my reasons for dropping the 4th class. And while I understand and completely agree with your advice, I must admit to you that I most likely won't take it. Not because I don't care about my courses or anything like that. You have no idea how hard it was for me to drop that class. Instead, it is my love for theatre that keeps me going back and devoting too much time to it."
so why am I feeling so shitty now? | | |
| (entry for Angel...)
Social butterfly day! I started out this morning with Spaine and DR (and his girlfriend). I hadn't seen Spaine in a year and a half so it was good to catch up. Then met up with some Brown people--Briel and Mikey P and this slowly grew to be us and Andy, Farra, Ross, and Steve. I then left them and met up with Steve D., Reid, Kate, and Katie.
Look.
I can be social.
And tomorrow I see even more people.
I swear I deserve a prize.
also, I decided that I am going to audition for Hangar Lab Company--hopefully that'll work out...if not, then I will be sad. that means i need headshots...anyone want to take them for me??? | | |
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